A big F you to Dr X

Now that it's been a year since little man was born and pretty soon we'll be giving birth to #2, I've been reflecting on the beginning days of parenthood. It was a scary, uncertain time trying to navigate this whole new world.

My biggest fear was breastfeeding. It's so hard to not know if your child is getting enough milk since you don't see it and can't measure it. The first pediatrician we went to pretty much preyed in that new mom fear of mine. From the second we walked in and Ethan was fussy, he was like if it's a feeding time, I guess you can feed him, I won't watch or anything. Maybe he was trying to make me feel more comfortable? But it just made me feel awkward. I wasn't worried that you'd "watch". I'm not doing something sexual, I'm feeding my child and you are a medical professional. 

Then he said he'd lost too much weight and wasn't getting enough milk and we should give him formula. Before I really had time to process, he'd come back in with a sample of formula ready to go. Being scared and worried I'd been starving my child, we of course gave it to him. He recommended we nurse every 2hrs (15min each side) plus supplement with one oz of formula after each feeding. 

The first thing I did after getting home was contact a lactation consultant and set up an appt. Then I went in our bedroom and cried. I felt like a failure and a horrible mom. Thank god my husband was able to calm me down and support me. 

The weekend of nursing went ok. I kept a log and tracked everything. But it was wearing on me to basically be non stop feeding based on the dr's schedule. By the time I was done with the 30min of nursing and then the bottle, I'd have about an hr before it was time to start again. And needless to say, Ethan wasn't big on nursing since he was probably being overfed at that point.

When I called to update on Monday, it was a horrible experience. I told the dr he was nursing and having enough wet diapers and I could see he was getting milk. He asked if I felt a letdown and I was like no, but I see the milk and can hear him swallowing. Then he said "you know it's not a big deal to switch to formula if you want to". Now I was angry. I'd made it clear I wanted to breastfeed, I told him I could see him getting milk, and he was well hydrated and yet he's basically trying to convince me to switch?!? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against formula or those who choose to do it, but I wanted to BF. He said if I'm not feeling a let down, I'm not producing enough. Once again, I found myself in tears feeling like a failure.

At our next appt, Ethan gained about 2 lbs from his birth weight after a week. So I asked about stopping the supplementing and he still seemed against it. I had already started weaning him off it by only doing 1/2 the extra feedings. Thankfully at the LC appt, she weighed him before and after feeding and was able to tell he was definitely getting as much as he should and she said it was ok to stop the formula. So I stopped that day and went back the next week for a follow up weight where he was perfect.

He continued to grow and thrive just fine without the formula. He was exclusively BF (except that one week) for 6 months until we started baby led weaning. We still managed to make it to one year of BFing. He was slowly weaned starting around 9-10 months where it was down to mostly naps (he was always too busy to want to take a break to nurse any other time). Then on his birthday, he magically was just done. He hasn't tried or gone back since then.

While it was a crappy experience at the beginning and I feel like the supplementing not only hurt my supply, but also caused him to break out really bad that took about a month to go away, I'm somewhat happy that this happened. It made me more supportive of BFing and other moms who are struggling and it caused me to read just about everything I could on it. I swear I read all of my LC's site and all of kellymom.com. I had tons of worry still, but reading those helped me realize I wasn't alone in my fears and learn what was "normal". It also taught me to trust my mommy instincts and not always just listen to what the dr says. If I had listened to him I would have thought that I "didn't make enough milk". I'm sure he didn't expect me to stick to it and really try. We quickly got a new pediatrician who was supportive of BFing and never went back to the first.

Now that I've gotten this vent out, hopefully I can get the mom guilt out of my head. I wanted to put this out there for anyone else that's had an un-supportive doctor or has struggled with BFing. Best thing I can recommend is to get a certified lactation consultant. It was worth every penny and then some. Mostly to give me the confidence that I was doing good, work on any latch issues, and see if there's anything that's making it harder. Then do research! Lots of research. It will prepare you for a response when well meaning people try to give you advice about how you feed them and it will give you the answers when you start questioning yourself.

Kids are gross. So are dogs.

Ethan's new thing while getting his diaper changed is to try to grab the diaper. Luckily, I'm quicker than he is. Josh apparently was not as prepared. Ethan not only got a hold of a poopy diaper, but pulled it all along his leg and up to his head. :( seriously, it was in his hair. As hubby is freaking out, calling me to come help, Ethan is full on belly laughing like it's the funniest thing he's ever done.

I'm so grossed out that I tell J to just take him up to the bath so I can clean up. Just when I think it hasn't been gross enough, the dog comes over and LICKS the diaper. OMG I was about to throw up already and that almost pushed me over the edge. So disgusting I wanted to cry.

I knew the day was going too smoothly. We *almost* made it with a nice, easy day until 20min before bedtime. 

Testing boundaries

Little man has been testing his boundaries (and my patience) more and more lately. It started small. He'd go to something he knew he shouldn't and would look to see if we were watching before trying to go for it. But now he's getting more bold. When he's doing something he shouldn't, I'll say no-no that's not for babies and redirect him to some toys. But this kid is stubborn! He keeps going back to it over and over no matter what toy I try to get him to play with.

A lot of times he'll smile at me when I say no thinking if he's cute, I'll give in. Sorry kid. But yesterday he was really trying things out to see what he could get away with. After lots of redirection, he decided to go to thing he shouldn't be playing with (the receiver for the TV-he loves to turn up the volume) and rather than actually go for it, he put his hand near it, looked at me and smiled. Then he slowly kept putting his hand closer while watching me. I was like are you serious?! This little 1 yr old is too smart for his own good sometimes.

He's also learning the art of fake crying in the hopes to get what he wants. And tantrum throwing. Heaven help me when the 2s and 3s come. The hardest part is not laughing when he does these things. It takes a lot to keep from giggling because he looks so funny when he is standing there smiling, trying to get away with things. E is definitely a very determined child.

Mean mama wouldn't let him eat paper. Meltdown ensues. Stops when he realizes I'm still not gonna let him eat paper. 

Almost 1 year!

Wow! It's hard to believe my little guy is almost a year old! Yay, we managed to keep him alive for a whole year! I'm impressed. We're all mostly sane still and the house isn't a complete disaster. I'm gonna say that's a win. At this time last year, I was laying in the hospital attempting to sleep before they induced me in the morning. But every time I moved, the monitor would go off and nurses would come in so I barely slept at all.

Ethan is already walking and running like a toddler. First steps were taken at 9.5 months and he really took off around 10 months. He eats like crazy! I've never seen a baby love food as much as this kid. Luckily, he is also super active so he can work it all off. Baby led weaning was so awesome for us. Some of his favorite foods include sweet potatos, corn, any type of fruit, and PB&J. Oh and breakfast, he loves breakfast food! Especially eggs and pancakes. He eats more eggs than me.

Enjoying some ribs

Some of his favorite things right now: bathtime (he's a total water baby and I can't wait to get him in swim lessons), playing tunnel/fort with a blanket between the couch/ottoman, hiding under a blanket to play peek a boo, tickles, and watching animal sound videos on youtube. Seriously, if he's cranky, this one video seems to get him smiling instantly! This one is his favorite! This is the only thing that can hold his attention and have him sit still longer than 30 seconds.

My little guy is a total traveler already! He's been in 13 states (Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana). He's taken 3 trips by plane (which all included layovers so 12 takeoffs!) and has been pretty awesome on all the flights. And he's been on 1 epic road trip (that's where he got most of his states in) going from TX-IL for a few weeks, then IL-GA for a few weeks before heading home to TX. We'll likely be taking a few more trips this year so hopefully our happy traveler streak continues. Check here for travel tips that I posted after our 2nd flight.

Most recent flight! 

He already had an early bday since we were at the grandparent's house 2 weeks before his actual bday. So here's some pics from his pre-birthday cake.

 mmmm....cake!

I'm about to go start decorating his cake for his real birthday now. Stay tuned in a few days for pics of his birthday and his 1 year checkup update.

Sick baby sadness

Well the day (or should I say night?) finally came where we were woken up with a sick baby. Poor little guy caught something and has been so sad the last few days. I'm hoping that he magically wakes up feeling better for Christmas. We've been giving him plenty of fluids and nursing him often to keep him hydrated. Some moments he's his normal, happy self just running around and playing. Other times, he's got a super sad cry that just breaks my heart.

I have to say having a sick baby has definitely been one of the hardest parts about being a mom. All I want to do is make him better and I can't. It doesn't help that I also was sick so it's been hard to hold him. While it sucks it happened close to Christmas, it's been a blessing since Josh was home from work and has been able to help take care of us.

Robot stereo

So excited! My husband's big project for our little guy's robot room is finally finished! We were originally just planning to buy a simple iPod dock so we could stream lullaby music at night, but we couldn't find any we liked that didn't look funny in a baby's room.

After spending a few days looking, Josh thought maybe he could build a robot that he could turn into a dock. It started with a simple sketch by his co-worker and morphed from there.

With the help of some co-workers, they built an amazing stereo that will look awesome in his room now and will continue to look awesome as he grows up. I LOVE how it turned out!

Love all the little details it has. Lots of time and love went in to this project. I'm so glad it was finished in time for Christmas. Ethan may not be old enough to really understand Christmas yet, but I hope he loves this for a long time. I can't believe he was able to make this!

Saving money with a baby

Babies are expensive. For being so little, they sure use a lot of things that cost money. Sure, some aren't really NEEDS, but they do make things easier. Here's a few tips to keep from breaking the bank.

1. Avoid furniture from the baby stores. A dresser is a dress no matter what it's called. Just because it's labeled "nursery" or "baby", doesn't mean it's any different. This is similar to wedding planning when the second you hear wedding/bridal, expect the cost to double or triple. Even the simple dressers at BRU start around $300, so go up $900! $900 for a frickin dresser in a baby's room?! The majority seem to be in the $500 range. Instead we used Ikea for our dressers. We have 2-4 drawer Malms side by side and 2-3 drawer Malms (1 in the closet and 1 near the crib). Even better, these were items we already had so extra savings. We use 1 for toys and shoes, 1 for blankets and bibs, etc, and the larger ones for clothing/accessories/bath stuff. You can get all 4 for $360. WAY cheaper and WAY more storage. You don't need that much space, but since we had them, I separated things more.

To see ours in action check out the nursery tour.

2. Re-purpose items. Go through your storage area/garage for things you no longer use. Besides re-using our dressers instead of selling them for something else, we also found things that had been sitting unused. We had a white shelf that we'd meant to put up in the laundry room so instead it went above his dressers for robot stuff. We also had 2 matching white sets of hooks that were perfect on opposite sides of the closet for hanging fave outfits, hooded towels, Boba, etc.

3. Get crafty. This goes along with re-purposing somewhat. If you can't find the perfect item to match or the item you want is too expensive, find a way to DIY it. Our nursery theme was robots which weren't always easy to find and when we did, it was usually so pricey. So, for things like the lamps, I found simple square ones and covered them in fabric. Rather than spending $80-$100 on the mobile I loved, my mom made one by swapping out the objects on a clearance mobile with robots. The bookshelves we liked that held a ton of books were super pricey so my husband got to work and made some himself that were better than any we could have bought.

#4 Buy in bulk. This also makes you less likely to run out of things when you need them. Buy the biggest box of diapers. Go to Costco/Sams for wipes. We've only had to buy wipes once after we used the ones we got as gifts and it was a huge box from Sams. We're almost out now at 7 months. We got blessed with tons of diapers so we've never had a problem with running out (still have 10 boxes left! WOW!).

#5 Stock up during sales and use coupons. The baby wash we use is kinda pricey (Mustela). So, last time BRU had a huge sale on it (it was like buy 2 get 1 free + 20% off  I think?) so I bought all the things we use the most. Retailmenot.com is a great place to check for coupons and I always check before buying online. Ebates is also a great way to get money cash back. (If you aren't on ebates yet, please use my referral link to sign up. It's great!). BRU and BuyBuyBaby often have coupons and most will take their competitor's coupon. We also used a great sale to try out a few different pacifier and sippy cup options to see what he liked best. Always compare prices with other stores and ask if places price match. If I don't happen to have a coupon with me, I always ask at the register if they have any going on. This works about 1/2 the time.

#6 Register for everything you might want. Even things you think no one will buy because they are too expensive or too small. The main reason for this is that many places send a coupon right before the baby is due for you to complete the registry. So you'll get about 10% off anything that's left on your registry. This is why I did a few different registries.

#7 Buy used! This is where I really saved the most money. So many baby items are in great condition when they are used because they outgrow things so quickly. We bought new on the crib and carseat for safety reasons, but so many other things were bought used. BOB jogger that had maybe been used twice, a high chair that had been used once, changing table, swing, exersaucer, jumper, bassinet, pack and play, walker, toys, clothing, etc. We have so many toys because of buying used that he'll never get bored. I like to swap out the toys he plays with every few weeks. It also is a cheap way to find out what he likes since every baby is different. I know a lot of people don't like buying used, but really it's as good as new once you take a little time and clean it.

This whole pile of toys cost $20! Some of his faves are in here!

 

Tons of CUTE clothes and a bunch of toys for $45. 

Some things to think about when buying used:
-pay attention to sizing on clothing. Some used clothes end up not being the right size if they were washed wrong and shrunk. Also think about seasons when buying in advance. I like to be prepared and buy when I see a great deal so I have to think about what size he'll be in when wearing them. I don't need size 12 months yet, but when I saw a great deal for winter clothes in that size, I snapped it up. Better than waiting til the last minute and buying something expensive.

-Don't buy any stuffed animals that have built in music devices. There's no good way to really clean them. A lot of toys luckily have removable sound things so you can wash them.

-Check for battery operated parts before hosing things down or putting them in the wash. This sounds obvious, but some are hidden pretty well. We've ruined a few things by being too quick to pull out the hose. Luckily some that made it through the wash came out still working.

-If you can, make sure they work. Ask the person if they have batteries to check or bring some with you when you pick up.

-Buy in lots and ask for a deal for buying multiple items. People are likely to go lower to get rid of a lot at once.

-Make sure all parts are in place and nothing is cracked or broken. A small crack could make something less stable or could scratch your little one. Skip the things that have damage.

-For cleaning: Things with batteries, I use clorox wipes to clean them off. It makes it easy to get it all the nooks w/o ruining the battery compartment. I usually wipe it down with a damp rag after so it's safer for baby. For cloth toys and stuffed animals, I throw them in the washing machine. My washer has a no spin and low spin option so I use whichever is best for what I'm washing. For most plastic toys that don't use batteries, I put them in the dishwasher. For big items like the jumper and exersaucer type, we take off the parts with batteries and hose the rest down using a sponge and soap to scrub them down. Some toys look pretty dirty and I've considered skipping them, but it ends up being a lot quicker than I think it will and they come out looking as good as new. I usually just work on them while watching TV so it doesn't feel like work.